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October 6th, 2010

12:15 am - Pleiades
For Mikkjel, on the occasion of your birthday.

Lie back love, in my arms.  Stare at the stars with me, let the night caress you and the dew from the grass seep into your back.  If you're cold, I am here, but look there.

Do you see the Hunter striding across the heavens?  He is Orion, and see, there?  He chases Merope and her sisters across the sky.  She is the youngest of the seven, and cannot be easily seen from the Earth.  The Greeks said  that, of the Seven, she was the only one to love and wed a mortal man.  She bore many sons to Sisyphus, but mortality was her choice and so she faded away.

Of course, where there is one story there is always another.  Electra, the second of the Seven, was loved by mighty Zeus the lord of Olympus.  She bore him two sons, Dardanus and Iasion, and the first of these became the great ancestor of the Kings of Troy.  So it is said that she is the sister unseen, that she hides behind her veil, grieving for the city that fell so many years ago.

Yes, I'll tell you about the others.  Maia eldest and Taygete, next after Electra, were also beloved by the god Zeus.  The first was the mother of Hermes, the guardian of travellers and tricksters and messenger to the gods of Olympus.  The other bore him Lacedaemon, also a name of the city known as Sparta.  Alcyone and Celaeno bore children to Poseidon of the seas, and the war god Ares fathered a child by Sterope.

Their father was Atlas the titan, and their mother the sea nymph Pleione. You will know the name of the nymph Calypso (she trapped Odysseus on her island), she is their sister, along with the Hyades and the Hespirides.

I was getting to that, my love. I mentioned Orion, did I not?  Well, the story has it that after Atlas was given the burden of the Earth to shoulder, he began to pursue the sisters.  Zeus transformed them into doves so they could flee the Hunter, and then into stars as a comofrt to their father.  Although, of course, Orion pursues them still.

Where there is one story (I always say and have always said, and daresay I always will) there is another.  The father of the Seven, Atlas was given the terrible burden of the world to bear upon his shoulders.  The sisters grieved for their father, and all seven took their lives because they could not bear the sadness of his fate.  Yes, I know I told you they were immortal, save the youngest.  There is always more than one story, and neither one nor the other must agree.  In fact, they rarely do.  The Lord Zeus was so moved by the death of the Sisters that he bore them into the heavens and set them there as stars.

Of course, there are more stories than the Greek.  Some say thre are seven maidens who dance upon the stars, set there by the gods to dance forever.  Others say that they are women giving birth.  A legend of the Americas says that they are seven maidens of great beauty who are pursued by bears, and that the gods lifted them into the sky to escape their hunters.  Yes, you see that it is familiar.  For where there is one story there is another, and where there are many stories, there are always fewer than first appear.  A similar tale is told in Australia, of maidens turned to stars to escape an unwanted suitor.

Yes, you want to know what they mean to me.  My learning, love, is all Classical in nature.  But in my home, upon my land and in the skies of its people, these same stars signal that the year begins anew.  A story of the Sisters that is told in your home as well.  It is rather less romantic, I am afraid.  The Norse believed the stars to be the goddess Freya's chickens.

You look tired.  It is late, of course, or we'd not be alone here in the quiet of the night gazing into the stars together.  Don't worry, my love, they'll be there tomorrow.  The stars and their stories both.

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August 19th, 2010

05:28 am - Three to Six and Nine Will Bring Daylight
It's been another one of those nights when I forgot to sleep, because yesterday I had one of those days when I forgot to wake up.  Of course my cat is no help at all.  If I am in bed all day so much the better, because there is a warm thing to curl up on and deaden the nerves in the legs of.  If I happen to be awake all day, that's fine too, because there can be food and pouncing in the garden.  Cats are very easy going.  I wish mine actually woke me in the mornings, but she does not.  She didn't even attempt to make me go to bed, just realised that I was going to be awake reading again and decided, in her infinite wisdom, that there are plenty of places in the house that are nice and warm.  She promptly found one and curled up there for a sleep.

Sometimes I wish I was a cat.  Cats cannot have insomnia or broken sleeping patterns or anything of the sort.  Cats sleep when they damn well please, which is almost all the time.

I wrote a poem about being awake at 3am reading ghost stories and wondering when the day will break and if I ought to attempt to sleep after all and deciding eventually against it.  Although of course, it turned out to be nothing of the sort.

Curled inside myself awake and waiting for daylight again
Company being myself and someone else's words
to keep the darkness at bay
Time was I struggled against this,
tossing turning trying to fall asleep
at the last dark second and viewing the dawn through
closed and dreaming eyes.

This second I am a thousand dreams unfulfilled
I am a single quiet moment

The night noises are comforting
wrapped around me, a blanket of gossamer shadows
warm as winter memories

Once upon a time I missed these moments,
laying down my head tos leep against cool sheets
trying to ignore the light that lingers,
the light I glimpse now as
I wake;
through the remains of dreaming eyes

When I wrote this is had something resembling a structure but I decided it didn't need one and besides, the one it sort of had was crap anyway.  Myself being myself, I'll hate it tomorrow.  Poetry being poetry, it will always be a little piece of tonight.
Current Music: Echo and the Bunnymen - The Killing Moon

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August 6th, 2010

05:25 pm - Immortal Words and Intestinal Swirls
A long time ago, ten years ago in fact, I wrote this:


You descended acid scored
Cried tears from ember eyes
I remember every word
Penetrated each disguise
You insist on placing blame
Your torment is all your own
Every scream strengthens your chain
As you waste away to bone
You dread the day when your cup runneth over
I know it hurts
I'll rue the day when your sentence is over
You know it hurts
You'll ascend no longer whole
With hellfire in your eyes
She joins you to slay the world
A cursed blessing in disguise
You'll be forced to take the blame
Even though it is all my own
Bound and broken, even shamed
While you waste away to bone
You dread the day when your cup runneth over
I know it hurts
I'll rue the day when your sentence is over
You know it hurts
You'll be revenged you know it hurts

Reading it back now, it's a awkward.  I do like parts of the wording and the basic structure.  I think I'm going to go back and improve it, and write a compantion piece tentatively titled 'Baldur'.  This is what happens when you cart a copy of Alan Moore's Top Ten around with you all day.

I have an idea for a new project.  It started with a title, and then I thought maybe it would be a story.  Then a story with pictures.  Now I think there might be poetry involved, and there might be performance poetry involved, and maybe music, and now I think it may end up being a large sprawling project whose final form is yet to be determined.  All I know for certain is that it's called 'The Murder Girl'.  I've been drawing more, a lot more.  Some kind of new style seems to be taking shape.  'The Murder Girl' will be painted.  The poetry will be visual as well as disjointedly lyrical.  Something will happen though, I'm sure of it.  I'm wondering what.

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May 14th, 2010

10:50 pm - Magic Far Away
So today has been wonderful, full of sunlight and capturing words.  Somewhere the day became permeated with warmth and I feel wonderful, but bittersweet to the point of tears.  Finally drawing close with words as the day fades, but it must be bright now.  You never realise how much you truly miss someone until you can almost touch them but never hold them.  I wish I didn't feel like this, but there is nothing in the world I would trade to make this go away.
Current Music: The Cure - Just Like Heaven

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April 26th, 2010

10:13 pm - Missing Peace
Missing you speaks to me more
Than words in packages
Wrapped in paper and tied in ribbon
But I'd give you all the words in the world
If I could hear just one from your lips
And if it could be my name
I'd give them all again
Instead I am bound by half thoughts
Not conversations but a semblance of
Hope in almost sentences
Each taste of your essence
Distilled into dust for me and all the world
Fills me with something that is almost
But never reaches happiness
So it comes to this where I am missing you
Another night alone waiting for you
To not say a word to me
Somewhere alone you'll wonder about the world
Never knowing that I was here all along
With words I can not say to your nothing
But wouldn't have said to you anway
I just want to know who you are now
How you were and why your thoughts
Turn to colour when mine turn to grey
One day I'll get to see what you made
What colour your soul turns when it collides with the world
Until that day comes I'll be waiting here
For you to be forgiveness
With my soul escaping slowly into the night
Missing you
Speak to me

Current Location: Alone in my mind
Current Music: Morrissey - The Last Of The Famous International Playboys

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April 21st, 2010

12:12 am - Wednesday Only Just
This morning? awoke slowly dreams clinging like spiderwebs I could not bear to brush away.  Sensual and essential your hands reluctant first then blatantly not.  I thought I knew who you were and where we were but I didn't and it was sterile sterile sterile but you were not.  Stephen sings There Is A Light That Never Goes Out and I before him undone in broken harmony meld my voice and come up short.  Recollections slapping hands away don't touch me there but yes do that...  A dark room a lit cubicle both comfortable in their own way and who am I seducing and why and who am I?  Waking knowing only dreaming pleasant but strange and my day followed by melody inside my head songs like suede over and over again but so smooth.

Now just past midnight and candlelight I can weave dreams with my hands or chase them through slumber's caress.  My eyelashes are soft and wanting.
Current Mood: In something love perhaps?
Current Music: Morrissey - Suedehead

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March 17th, 2010

11:22 pm - World on the Wall
The thing I notice most about the world is
That it's always two things at the same time
So I can be here and be be me
And be there as words with you
But still you've never heard
The taste of my existence

The thing I notice most about my life us
That it's never easier this time around
While I can be here and try to be me
And be there but never see you
Jealous of the people who
Embrace your existence

If I could fax you my heart
Would you make it worth my buying the equipment?

To suffer most around the world
Is to be all things at once and more
While it kills me to be me
And be there not as myself
And wonder if we ever will
Try each other's existence

If I could fax you my heart
Would you make it worth my buying the equipment?
If I could fax you my heart
Would you promise me you'll buy the equipment too?

I could send my organs on paper
You could do with them as you will
But I'd rather have you here with me
Three dimensional and not pinned to the wall.
Current Mood: Full of pins
Current Music: This song
Tags: ,

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05:07 am - A Long Post About Amanda Palmer and Cupcakes
Last night there was an exciting little tweet about a a contest to grab a spot on the Amanda Palmer guestlist tonight.  I spent all day watching twitter until said contest appeared...  And Dorian's name was on the guestlist shortly afterwards.  I have immense love for musicians who do things like this for their fans, so of course I was compelled to offer to bring cupcakes.  To which Ms. AFP replied that I should always fucking bring cupcakes.

My afternoon was spent rather pleasantly.  Being excited and baking cupcakes.  Two kinds, even...  Chocolate ones and rose ones.

The Rose Cupcake RecipeCollapse )

Then, after arranging to meet up with pople before the show, I discovered one of them was someone wonderful whom I hadn't seen in a very long time.  This was an incredible start to the night in and of itself.  We walked to the gig, drinks were acquired, and we stood outside in the evening listening to Hera sing wonderful lilting tunes that wrap around you softly before revealing their inner steel.

Then it was time to listen to Amanda Fucking Palmer herself.

My thoughts on the showCollapse )

Photos of the showCollapse )

I was a Dresden Dolls fan from way back.  I've been following Amanda Palmer with interest.  Now I am a fan for life.  Sometimes it takes a live show.  To which i can only say...  See this woman live.  She's coming back next year.  I'll be there.

Not only is Amanda an incredible performer, she is also one of the kindest, craziest, genuine people I've had the pleasure of meeting.  So when I turned up with two kinds of cupcakes after the show, she decreed that EVERYONE would share cupcakes at the signing table.  Which is exactly what happened.

Cupcake Saga, with picturesCollapse )

I am impressed by Amanda's fans...  There were only ten cupcakes, but everyone was nice and sharing them around.  Lots of people got to eat cupcakes while they waited to have things signed.  Amanda was lovely.  Wrote on things, then hung around afterwards to take photos with the fans.

Photos of Amanda... With Dorian!Collapse )

It was s fabulous night.  I am now saving up to go and see EvelynEvelyn in Sydney.

*All images of people who are not AFP or Dorian David Leigh have had their faces blurred to protect their privacy, as they have not given permission to have their faces in the public domain.

Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Memories of Radiohead played on the Ukulele

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March 16th, 2010

02:11 am - Other People's Wonders
Two people in my life have done incredible things lately, and I feel the need to share.  Mostly because they did those things so they could be shared, which in itself is wonderful.

Raven's Book:

My friend Raven was in the middle of writing a book when we met.  We became very close, and during the time in which we bonded I was privileged to read the early chapters of her first novel.  She was struck by the similarities I bore to one of the main characters, Ash.  I enjoyed reading those early chaptes very much.  I am, at this moment, awaiting my first edition autographed copy.

What is the book about?  It's about Nick, a boy with a bad life who doesn't fit in. Nick wants to do better, and to be better, and wins a scholarship to a public school in Britain.  There he meets Ash, makes friends, and finds a group of outsiders that accept him.  Not that it's perfect from then on.  Ash has old wounds.  Nick has his own problems.  The book is a little crazy, a little funny, a little dark, and a lot amazing.  It's one to read in red lipstick, with the music turned up loud.

You can get it here.

Rohana's Show:

Another friend invited me to his partner's art show.  I went to the opening, I talked to people, I looked at glittering objects and had a wonderful evening out.  The show is still on, and I do urge anyone in Christchurch to go.

The Hunting Party by Rohana Weaver, at COCA Gallery on Gloucester St.

The collection is small.  That's not a bad thing, as it is tightly cohesive.  Prints of glittering tiger paws and a zebra/cat head push you to the two seperate alcoves.  One contains what appear to be hunting trphies.  Great cats adorned with the markings of herbivores, glittered and ruffled.  They make you stop, and think, and wonder.

The main piece in the collection has, and deserves, an alcove of its own.  A life sized tiger, fully coated in sequins, rolls on its back to chase a giant parrot crafted from rope.  The tiger is an incredible object.  I was told by several people that they could almost see it breathe, wanted to hug it, wanted to take it home.  Anyone with a cat will recognise the tiger's expression.  It is playful but deadly, an effect only enhanced by the glittering sequins.  Somehow, the embellishment makes the tiger more real.

You can buy the tiger.  For $8,000.  You can see it for free.  (Although COCA gratefully accepts donations)

The exhibition runs until the 3rd of April.  I also enjoyed the other exhibitions at COCA, and wandering the galleries is not an unpleasant way to spend an afternoon.
Current Music: Placebo - Blind

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February 12th, 2010

10:56 pm - Blameless Nights
Last night I dreamt of cats.  Not just cats...  Of tattoos, of an invitation to a party on gold paper.  Of dressing up as a green bean.  Of slapping someone and holding someone else.  But I mostly recall that there were cats.

I slept the day away.  I can't control when I sleep and when I wake anymore.  I think I miss the daytime, but it has become hard to tell.  It's been a long time since there were any lights in the house other than candles.  I like sitting here in the half light.  I'm listening to the first Editors album and settling down to work.

I shall make tea soon.

I can reveal that I'm working on the blurb to a yet-to-be-released novel by a good friend of mine.  This book has been a part of my world for a long time now.  Many, many years.  One of the characters is so similar to me that the authour was startled when we met.  It's a strange but ultimately romantic tale.  At the same time it is gritty and painful.  I will be sharing an exclusive preview with my readers int he very near future.

I just wanted to share how excited I am to be working on this.  A dear friend is allowing me to help her by doing this.  I can't wait to see the book in print.

Last night I went for a walk.  It should have taken fifteen minutes, but was at least double that because i kept being catted.  I miss having a cat, although I love my rats very much.  There's something about cats.  They always know more than they're letting on.  One day I'll have one again.  Life seems incomplete without a cat in it.

I have a lot of words inside me rigt now.  I think tonight I'll try to make some come out in some sort of order.
Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: Editors - Lights

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